fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
