David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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