Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
