so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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