Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
