i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
