She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
