I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I had to cum in my sink.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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