just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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