her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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