IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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