i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
