at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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