I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
