who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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