Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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