If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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