areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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