he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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