no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
