Im at strip club and am horny
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
