I heard we made out
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
