mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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