So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
