So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
