dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
