tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
