That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
