He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
