i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
ttyl tear gas
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
