Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
