it was like his penis was on wheels.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My vagina just recognized that song.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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