And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
