would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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