ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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