i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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