Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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