I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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