I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
