dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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