i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
