Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
