Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Randomize
