I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
wow bdsm is so cute
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