i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
vagina is talking i cant
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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