Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
