yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
