why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
