we have pet lesbian snakes
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
