You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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