i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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