Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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