btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
how does that bad decision feel?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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